


Before and After

by Iamjusttrash



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: I guess I'm gonna write it, all the relationships are only hinted at, basically this is me being salty that Agent Carter was cancelled cuz this is where I wanted it to go, enjoy, its really just what I wanted Agent Carter to do, peggy/sousa isn't a thing and Peggy didn't have kids cuz it just didn't work with the story, so if they weren't gonna make it, this isn't written to be a relationship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7316116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamjusttrash/pseuds/Iamjusttrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard and Maria are dead and they've left Tony, Jarvis, Peggy, and all of SHIELD behind. The only clues to their death are their wrecked car, and some surveillance footage that has Peggy recalling her life from before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What She Remembered

She remembered. She remembered meeting him. His body was small and weak, but he held himself like a soldier already. She remembered the banter, the flirting, the small talk. She remembered his transformation, how his body grew to fit the large heart in him, and how his face had stayed the same.

She remembered seeing him in action, his determination, his strength, but also his fear. 

She remembered their first kiss, how it was more than she ever could have wanted, and yet still not enough. She remembered those times that they would be called back to New York or DC for one reason or another, and how they would each have their own room, but then they would somehow both wake up in the same one. She definitely remembered the beds they broke together.

She remembered how they would tell each other things about their lives before. He would talk about growing up in Brooklyn, about the bullies that broke his body but never his spirit, about his parents, about his best friend. And she told him about England, about her engagement, about her brother.

She remembered when he had been happy. How he would light up, how his dorky smile spread across his face, and how his laughter was contagious. But she also remembered him sad, and angry, and hurt. She remembered how on bad nights, he would cuddle up next to her and she would comfort him. And she remembered how on really bad nights, Steve would cuddle up with Bucky.

Bucky.  
It couldn't be him.  
Not the man who she had become so close with. Not the man who had saved her life multiple times, who she accepted fully when she accepted Steve. Not Steve's best friend in the whole world. And not the man who died to save that world. It wasn't Bucky, couldn't be Bucky.


	2. Sergeant Barnes

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes” Jarvis said again. “That does sound familiar, have you heard it before?” She wasn’t sure how to respond, of course she’d heard that name before. She heard it everyday for years, but she just remained silent. 

The butler continued, “served in the 107th, was given numerous awards for his actions, reported dead after falling off a train while on a mission with…” his voice trailed off and he looked up at her briefly through his spectacles but she only stared ahead, knowing what he was going to say before he said it “...Captain Steven Grant Rogers and the Howling Commandos.” 

He really looked at her now, taking off the glasses and concern growing on his face while he tried to see how she was reacting. “Miss Carter, maybe-”

“Don’t” She said bluntly, a little emotion coming through in her voice. “You know as well as I do that this thing works, don’t try to tell me that this could be wrong just because you are afraid for how I feel.”

“I only mean that-”

“No” She cut him off again “this is a mission. And that man-” she had to really try to hold back her tears and her voice cracks now “killed Howard, and we have to find him, just like any mission would be”

“This isn’t just any mission” Jarvis muttered…

“What” Peggy questioned through her almost tears.

“I said this isn’t any mission! Howard...Howard is… he’s dead.. And so is Maria and Tony is now parentless and the man behind it all is Captain America’s dead best friend, and your good friend too!” Now he had lost what composure he had had. Howard’s death had really taken it’s toll on him, his eyes were bloodshot constantly and the bags under them were growing. Peggy found herself wondering how much actual sleep he had gotten since it happened. She was sure Jarvis had found someway to blame himself, like the fact that he wasn’t driving at the time was the thing that pushed them both over the edge into their graves.

Not that she was doing much better, Howard had become not only a close work partner, what with the foundation of SHIELD, but, despite their differences he had also become a close friend (though what Maria saw in him that made her love him as much as she did Peggy had no idea). Even Tony she found herself liking, no matter how egotistical and, well, like his father he was. It just occurred to her now that she hadn’t seen him since the funeral, and he hadn’t been taking this well, no matter how much he insisted he hated his parents.

Peggy sighed. She wished this was just any normal mission. That two people had been killed for some priceless thing they were carrying, and the perpetrator needed to be brought in. But, no, normal wasn’t what she had been dealing with for a long time, and it wasn’t what SHIELD was made to deal with. So of course this wasn’t normal, it was two of her dearest friends who had died, and an even dearer friend apparently back from the dead who killed them. Worse in some ways was what has apparently been stolen: Howard’s latest attempt at recreating the super soldier serum, which, for making, Peggy would bring Howard back to life just to kill him if she could.

Why did Bucky steal it anyway? The video showed him killing Howard, by using what was apparently a prosthetic arm that was jacked up to the extreme: retrofitted with metal plating and mechanics that she would never understand on the inside to make it super human levels of strong. And then it showed him using his human hand to strangle Maria. They learned his identity from Howard’s facial recognition machine, which is what Jarvis had tried to imply could be wrong, but she knew it wasn’t. She didn’t see it at first with his hair so long, with the arm, and with his gear, but she saw it now. That man was Bucky, but not the one she had known.

“Okay fine, this isn’t a normal mission,” Peggy said. Minutes had passed since Jarvis had last spoken, they had both been consumed by their own thoughts “But since when do we deal in normal?” Jarvis snorted, her half attempt at humor not pulling him fully out of his own head.

“What do we do then?” he replied softly. He had seen a lot in his days with Howard, and then with Howard and Peggy, and now with SHIELD as a whole, but dead men walking was not one of them. He also hadn’t had to deal with anyones death before, but now he had two. And he had their child left to deal with, not that Tony wasn’t old enough to take care of himself, but he still needed guidance. Jarvis thought that maybe he should show Tony the video, let him know exactly how his parents died, and by whose hands they were murdered, but he decided against it. Tony had enough to deal with, he didn't this.

“We track down what we can, Bucky “died” nearly 50 years ago but if he’s alive that means he has been since his fall, some one has to have seen a man with a metal arm running around,” Peggy paused, she hopes she sounds more confident than she feels, “Maybe we try to find out who is behind this, Bucky was smart but not in the same way as Howard or Erskine or Zola, he couldn’t use that serum on his own.” _Plus those aren’t the eyes I know_ , Peggy thought, _someone is pulling his strings and I intend to find out who and make them pay for Howard, Maria, and for killing the Bucky I had known, the one with the gorgeous happy eyes. Also for Steve_ , she thought a moment later, _who would have fought the sun if he thought it was hurting his best friend._


	3. Above and Below

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I'm least happy with, mostly cuz I wrote it at 1 am, but I also have no idea how to make it better, so yeah, here it is.

Meanwhile, without Jarvis or Peggy realizing it, above and below them important things were happening. 

Above them, Tony locked himself on his floor of the tower. All he could do was replay in his mind his last moments with them. He hadn’t said anything. His parents left and he just watched them both go, not so much as a goodbye on his end. Why hadn’t he said anything? Because you’re a terrible son. A terrible person really, he thought. And all the sudden he wanted to leave, to be anywhere but the tower his father had built, to be gone. He grabbed his keys and went to the garage, he was going to drive as far as he could, find a bar, and drink it all. He half hoped someone would see him on his way down and stop him, but no one did, no one can stop you anymore, he thought, no one can tell you what to do or who to be or where to be. He had thought before that that is what he wanted, freedom, but now he knew all he really wanted was his parents back, to tell him to stop, that he was addicted, and that technically it was still illegal because he was under age. He wanted to know someone cared about him that much, but no one stopped him, and soon he was traveling 90 miles per hour going who knows where for who knows how long. His life was changed forever.

Below them, something much more sinister was occurring. Almost 25 years later, Peggy would learn that if at this point, she has just gone down three levels, everything could have ended right then and there. The tower was not only where she and the Starks’ lived, it was also a base for SHIELD, and three stories down were the labs, where everyday Arnim Zola worked with the other scientists. It was at this moment that Zola was taking a break and he received a call. 

“The asset has been wiped, he performed well,” said a deep Russian voice.

“Not well enough” Zola replied, being careful he wasn’t loud enough for others in the lab to hear him, “SHIELD has the tapes, and no doubt Carter recognizes the man she used to know. He needs to be put back under before she can find him.” 

“But, if he is needed…” the voice started.

“Then use one of your own, we cannot risk bringing down this entire operation for the sake of a few of your men,” Zola’s whisper was practically a hiss at this point.

“Yes, I understand, he will be put under.”

“Good” Zola said, sitting back in his chair “Now about those new recruits…”

**Author's Note:**

> I might add on to this if I have any other ideas, but for now I think I'm fine with the length. This is my first fic, but not my first time writing, so I feel okay with how it turned out but I know there is room for improvement, so let me know your thoughts!


End file.
